Many singles say they feel empowered to call out bad dating behavior, from receiving unsolicited nude pictures on an app to getting ghosted.
It’s fine to have standards when it comes to your love life, but some behaviors are flat-out sketchy. Take a look at the most common red flags below.
1. You’re a speed dater
Speed dating is an excellent way to meet new people, but it can also be a breeding ground for bad behaviors. Some examples of speed dater behavior include monopolizing the conversation and talking over your date. This type of behavior makes your dates feel as though you don’t value or respect their time and connection.
Other signs of a speed dater include firing questions at you without sharing anything about themselves or being negative and hostile in their conversation. These types of behaviors could lead to an unsafe situation down the road if they’re not addressed. According to a recent poll, more than half of singles feel empowered to call out poor dating behavior, including being ghosted, receiving unsolicited nude pictures, and being stood up on a date.
2. You’re a stalker
When a date shows up at your place after you’ve told them to stay away, or starts contacting friends and family to find out where you are, it’s time to call the police. This is not a healthy sign and can lead to harassment and even physical harm.
Stalking can be a form of emotional abuse and is often committed by a person who has been in an intimate relationship or casually dated the victim. However, it can also be perpetrated by co-workers or classmates, or even strangers and matches on dating apps.
Miller identifies several types of stalkers, including the “rejected stalker,” who is unwilling to accept that their relationship ended; the vengeful stalker, who seeks revenge for a perceived wrong; and the predatory stalker, who may start with voyeurism and escalate to sexual assault.
3. You’re a control freak
Control freaks waste a lot of energy trying to prevent bad things from happening, even when they can’t. They can also be exhausting to be around because their whims and expectations leave you feeling suffocated and robbed of your own individuality.
If you’re dating a person who is a control freak, you need to assert your own boundaries and tell them that you don’t like being bossed around or having their ideas dictated. They might not understand their behavior, but you should be firm in your rejection of their petty demands.
Another big sign that someone is a control freak is when they have no empathy for others who make mistakes. They believe that success stems only from hard work and talent, and people who struggle are either lazy or stupid.
4. You’re a narcissist
People with narcissism may come off as confident and cocky to others, but they actually feel incredibly fragile and prone to self-loathing. They lack empathy, and they have a hard time accepting criticism or admitting their mistakes.
Look for signs of narcissism in your dating partners. Do they monopolize conversations and focus on superficial or image-related topics? Do they get angry easily at the waiter or refuse to tip him?
Also pay attention to how they treat their friends and family. If they devalue their loved ones, that’s a red flag. It’s important to find other healthy relationships with those who will respect and support you, such as a therapist. They’ll help you gain insight into your own narcissistic patterns. Insight leads to change.
5. You’re a jerk
If your guy is always talking about himself and calls you a picky, snobby, gold digger or some other synonym for a bitch because you don’t want him to pay for dinner or treat you like a queen, he is a jerk. Jerks are entitled, selfish people who don’t have a sense of guilt.
Jerks are often charming at the beginning of a relationship, which can lead you to overlook their worst qualities. The problem is that jerks can quickly turn into complete assholes.
Good people often fall for jerks because they give too much, over adjust to negative behaviors and overlook their own flaws. If you feel like your friend is dating a jerk, offer to hang out with them more often but without him (if you’re allowed to). This will help them learn that they deserve someone who treats them better than that.